Thursday, August 30, 2012

My Two-Night Stand

First up: I'm not a one night stand kind of girl. I'm not getting into bed with someone right after I meet them.

I prefer to spend two nights with them, and introduce myself AFTER the first night. 

Kind of. I'm married, remember? To this cutie:



But I have a funny story and it needed an intro. Ah, the old bait and switch. Ahem, now that I have your attention, let me set the scene.

 It's 12:45 at night, and I'm a little drunk. Nothing crazy, but some wine and a dehydrating plane ride can give you that light-headed feeling. I'm pretty nervous to be doing this, something I've never done before, but I put the hotel key into the room's door and try to imagine what will be on the other side.

The room is pitch black, and I can't even tell if anyone's inside. I turn the bathroom light on and slip into something more comfortable (butterfly pajamas and a tank top, for you fashion forward ladies) before tiptoeing to the beds. One bed was full already, a couple passed out in the dark. The other bed had just one denizen, the blanket turned down inviting me in. I sprawl out on my side of the bed...

Alright, alright. Read Fifty Shades of Grey if you want to head in THAT direction, but if you want the truth-

The above really happened. My flight got in really late to Seattle last Wednesday night, and I shared a room with three other women who I had never met before. In one bed: Stephanie and Lauren. In my bed: Jocelyn. I crawled in next to her in the dark, felt awkward and then realized I had no choice but to go to bed and hope she didn't wake up and scream something about an intruder. The next morning around 7, after the alarms went off, I rolled over and introduced myself to her. Gotta say, that was a first!

Luckily, she is one of those exuberant outgoing personalities that makes you feel right at home, so that eliminated the awkwardness straight away!

So- since none of you are going to tell me about your random one-night stands in a comment box, tell me instead if you read Fifty Shades of Grey and what you thought about it.
I haven't read it, but the excerpts I have read look terrible. Not as in, terrible subject matter, but as in terrible writing. It's one of those books I'll probably read eventually just to know what everyone is talking about. 

28 comments:

  1. I read a really amazing chapter by chapter review of it online that was FANTASTIC. The direct quotes almost caused me physical pain, though.

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  2. I don't think I could bring myself to read that book. If it's popular I tend to automatically hate it.

    That is such a funny story about meeting your teammates for the first time! I would be nervous too. I recently went on a girl's weekend with some friends and had to share a bed with the one girl I didn't know very well. (the other 4 girls were two sets of sisters, so they automatically paired up) This girl got very, very drunk and passed out in the middle of the bed we had to share. Needless to say I was sleeping on the very edge of that queen sized bed all night. I was pretty happy she didn't puke on me or try to cuddle.

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    1. Are you talking about me? Oh wait...that didn't happen. You did invite me into your bed with you and your husband on Friday though, didn't you? Or was I too drunk and got that all wrong.

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  3. I am sure that post will get all your male readers thinkin....

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  4. I'm embarrassed to admit that I read the entire damn trilogy. First book was alright in that it was unique and erotic and whatever...and then you realize that it's the exact same, there is no plot, and the writing is awful. It was a waste of my life :)

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  5. This was amazing. I bought the trilogy because I wanted to know what al they hype was about. I've only gotten through one of the books so far. The writing is terrible and the author clearly had some pent up sexual frustration of some sort, but the storyline itself wasn't so bad!

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  6. This situation might have made me a nervous wreck.....I'm way too shy at first. BUT actually if I were a little drunk I think that'd make it better. My drunken state has put me in worse situations before and made me feel like it was alright.

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  7. Are we still talking about Hood to Coast? Snore.

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  8. I have no desire to read it, but some of the reviews on Amazon are definitely worth reading!!

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  9. I dont think I will read it. Read the excerpt and I can't help but find myself rolled my eyes at every single sentence.

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  10. I haven't read Fifty Shades yet but it's on my books to read list. I have never read a romance novel before so I am hesitant to read them, but everyone says how good they are!

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  11. Haven't read it, but a podcast I listen to is retelling each chapter in a hilarious satire style so finally I have some clue about the "plot". I once stayed in a hotel room with a complete stranger, also in a non-sexual way. Maybe I'll use that story on my blog.

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  12. I thought that you were going to reveal that your marriage started as a two night stand. How great would that be?

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  13. I will never, ever, ever read that piece of crap. I thumbed through it once and thought my high school students could come write better.

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  14. Ugh, I don't think I'll ever be able to read it.

    But I did just start Unbroken, and I can immediately tell that I'm going to love it.

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  15. no 50 shades for me....but you knew that already! ha! I would read the phone book over that I think

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  16. Oh, the joys of running relays = great stories.

    I've not read 50 shades and probably won't.

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  17. Hahaha! I was REALLY REALLY hoping you would get that email I sent you before you arrived in darkness. That is actually kind of an amazing story though.

    And I'm glad you thought I had an outgoing personality! In my mind I was thinking "don't be awkward Jocelyn!"

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  18. I've never read 50 shades but I want to because of all the hype. And I want to take part in the whole debate of who will play Christian Grey in the movie.

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  19. hahaha...nothing like spooning with a stranger all night then waking up to then do the introductions! ;) jk. u crack me up, and i haven't read the book but i hear EVERYONE talking about it so i feel like the loser kid in the lunchroom. hehe

    okay ms. awesomeness, i also come to u hoping i could wrangle u to join me for some September Miles March Madness fun! i'm looking for a team of the coolest runner peeps, so naturally i had to stalk u out. will u rap for our theme song if u join? ;) if u're interested the det's are up on my site.

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  20. I have pretty much zero desire to read the 50 Shades trilogy, but I love reading hysterically funny and witty posts like this one!

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  21. Too funny. Long time no talk! I took the summer off and now I'm back to reading my favorite blogs. :) BTW, my new domain is sweatismysanity.com

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  22. Great story! Haven't read the books yet….I kind of don't get it, they have a ton of hype, but everyone criticizes them and I don't really hear anything except how bad they are!

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  23. I haven't read that series and am not sure that I will. I love that you had a bed partner! Thank goodness she was a good sport.

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  24. That is a hilarious story! I would have been super uncomfortable in your shoes. Way to be a trooper in an awkward situation.

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  25. hahaha, I love this! Definitely an awkward situation, but it was fun waking up and introducing ourselves :)

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  26. You're not going to do that in Nashville are you? ;) I have standards before hopping into bed you know!!!
    I started reading the first book but never finished. Not sure if I'll pick it up again or not.

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