My Teenage Angst & Nuun Hoorays

Something weird happened today. The time was 2pm - one hour before nuun was set to announce their winners for the Hood to Coast Relay teams. I kept working like I had been all day. But my clock was broken! Not just the one on my computer, but the one on the oven. The clock on my phone. All of them. Seriously, they must have been broken because time was moving at a glacial pace.

I swear that the hour moved by so slowly. My poor computer hasn't had to hit refresh so often since that time I entered the lottery and wanted to check the winning number. (Spoiler: I didn't win the $100 billion. Next time.) 3PM finally rolled around, and with it the combination Twitter/Facebook/blog craziness that was "WOOO NUUN!" I'm not hating - I contributed to the brouhaha.

Long story short (sorry, not actually that short!): I made the team! I'm an official member of team AFTER nuun DELIGHT! (Kara - this wasn't even my suggestion. Nuun's brilliant call.)

I have to say that while I am so happy to have been picked for what I'm sure will be an incredible experience, I feel a little guilty. I often get like this. Of all the people that got picked, I know I'm not the fastest. The funniest. The biggest blogger. The most motivated. Etc, etc. And somehow it feels a little wrong to be OMG SO EXCITED when people I like and respect aren't able to get all giddy and happy with me.

Feel free to hit the X at the top of the screen if you want to leave it at that. Because I'm about to get deep. As deep as I get, anyway. I often feel guilty for succeeding. Or for doing well. This is something I really, really struggle with. I'm allowed to celebrate when something goes well! In school I was a little bit of an over achiever, and I was made fun of A LOT for that.

I wasn't a "cute nerd" that is super trendy today.  I was just a straight up dork. I started high school when I was 12 and moved away to college in a new country when I was 16. I wasn't as mature as those around me, but I could keep up with the work. You don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure out that brains + lack of maturity = uncool outcast. I used to hide my test results from people and pretend I did poorly. Or lie about my age in college so no one would realize that no, not only could I not legally have that beer, but I also couldn't vote. Or drive. Or play on a sports team without faxing the forms to my parents to sign.

I went back in time today and felt all those feeling again. So here I am, saying....I'm happy! While I'm disappointed that in order for people to be picked there also had to be people that weren't picked, I'm still proud. And that's how you can tell I'm no longer a teenager.

What was your high school experience like? Super cool? Super jock? Super hide-in-the-lockers at lunchtime?
I was lucky to go to a really small Christian high school where there weren't really cliques. I got along with most people because they had no choice but to hang out with me. One year there were 5 kids in my entire grade! But teenagers are still stupid and I got made fun of for my grades and my age. Luckily I had a lot of friends from different groups so I was pretty happy. 

Do you get embarrassed about success or revel in it?

Normally I'm excited and want to share it with Tim and my family, but beyond that I get a little embarrassed about the attention. 

P.S. - Didn't get a chance to see my nuun entry! Check it out here!