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Dear Google Users (An Open Letter)

Dear Google Users,

I'm sorry. Obviously some scam is at work to trick you into finding my blog. When you typed "porn" into the search bar, I'm sure you did not expect to find a post about Peanut Butter. I can only hope that you quickly left my blog and found what you were looking for elsewhere. Those pictures of me in the ice bath are for educational purposes only, so don't even think about it.



And to the girl who wanted to know how to "increase my boob size in one week"? Honey, if I knew that I would gladly tell you, but I don't. You're certainly not finding the answers here, or I would be rocking something other than A cups. Read my post on embracing your body shape, because I'm pretty sure that short of surgery, you're stuck with what God gave you.

To the few people who found my blog by searching for "jelly beans and running", welcome! I think you might be the only ones who find what you're looking for on this blog.

Sincerely,
Vanessa @ Gourmet Runner

It's tougher than it looks to get a good picture around here. The outtakes:

Lecturing pose.

Can't stop smiling and look angry.

What I look like if you wake me after a nap.

What are some of the funny ways people find your blog through Google stats?
Despite the previous letter, this search term was actually the strangest one ever:


I have no response. 

Comments

  1. Hahaha. Your hair looks cute...even in the outtakes, lol!

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  2. PS - I am thinking about running Chickamauga. Have you run it before?

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  3. I had a similar experience when I wrote about "naked running" in reference to my Nike Frees. It's amazing how many people search for nude forms of exercise...

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  4. Haha! Those are so funny...

    I get "DQ ice cream blizzard" searches ALL THE TIME! I guess I eat a lot of ice cream??? Yikes.

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  5. Haha. I just got "half marathon is half of nothing" whatever that means. I love the google metrics. Really interesting and disturbing to see what led to your page.

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  6. Good God - I just looked at mine the other day and was appalled. I'll do a post about it too - they're good for a laugh.

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  7. WOW!!! There are some crazies out there! Wierdest search on my blog: Sheryl Crow's Shoe Size. Um....not quite sure about that one!

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  8. I love looking at the keyword searches that lead to my blog!!! Yours trump any I have had but "martian sandals" apparently leads people to Sweating Sugar....Not even sure what those are! And of course "lululemon camos" and lululemon upload" because clearly I reference those too often and need help.

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  9. That is crazy! I wonder how many different words would link to my blog lol
    I'm sure there are a few unexpected ones!

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  10. "You got peanut butter in my porn"?!?!?!?! BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!!!!!!

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  11. hahahahahahhaha that is the funniest thing everr

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  12. Wow, I don't have anything that good! The best I had was "co-worker in skirt"

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  13. I love it. Some of the weirdest things people have searched for and come up on my blog?

    Prison Food.
    My hair looks electrocuted.

    and my all-time fav....

    NieNie blog annoying.

    (If you've ever read NieNie, you'll get it :-)

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  14. HAHAHAAHAHAHAH! I LOVE GOOGLE SEARCHES! This is awesome!

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  15. ha!! I love it!! those are funny searches....but I kind of feel bad for the people that were searching things like peanut butter and porn... :/

    nice job with your lecture pose ;)

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  16. Everyone but me has amazing google searches!! I am so jealous! But seriously, porn is gross, and peanut butter is amazing, those people should be happy then ended up with a delicious rice pudding recipe instead.

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  17. HAHAHA I absolutely LOVE this post!!! You're hilarious!!

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  18. Google searches are the. Best. I'm with you - I would have already gotten in on that secret, bahaha!

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  19. I'm just here for the jelly beans and running! ;)

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  20. omg, this is just priceless! way too funny! :)

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  21. This post has me in hysterics! Seriously, how do you find this stuff out? I clicked on "stats" in my blogger account, but I see nothing of the sort aside from number of views and most popular posts...

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  22. such a funny post! Hilarious!

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  23. bahaha this cracks me up :D
    <3

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  24. hahahahaha!!! This is HILARIOUS!

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  25. HAHA this is GREAT! i love when random stuff shows up in my search terms stats!

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  26. Nothing random yet. But I can't wait until people come for random things. These google search posts make me laugh so hard!

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  27. this is seriously hilarious!!!! omg. seriously. laughing so hard right now.

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  28. Someone recently found my blog with the search terms of "topless running". Makes me feel like I'm really making a difference in the world.

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  29. Ha ha. :) This post was funny. I wish I could say I've found something nearly as funny as those in my google searches.

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  30. So cute!! Love your scolding look, so harsh!!

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  31. Love it! I love hearing about funny Google search terms, this one is definitely a winner!

    I haven't had too many funny searches yet, but I did chuckle at "it's a hard one". I don't think I have any hard (or soft) ones on my site ;)

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  32. This is too funny!
    I'll have to go see what brings people to my blog now!

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