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Dear Google Users (An Open Letter)

Dear Google Users,

I'm sorry. Obviously some scam is at work to trick you into finding my blog. When you typed "porn" into the search bar, I'm sure you did not expect to find a post about Peanut Butter. I can only hope that you quickly left my blog and found what you were looking for elsewhere. Those pictures of me in the ice bath are for educational purposes only, so don't even think about it.



And to the girl who wanted to know how to "increase my boob size in one week"? Honey, if I knew that I would gladly tell you, but I don't. You're certainly not finding the answers here, or I would be rocking something other than A cups. Read my post on embracing your body shape, because I'm pretty sure that short of surgery, you're stuck with what God gave you.

To the few people who found my blog by searching for "jelly beans and running", welcome! I think you might be the only ones who find what you're looking for on this blog.

Sincerely,
Vanessa @ Gourmet Runner

It's tougher than it looks to get a good picture around here. The outtakes:

Lecturing pose.

Can't stop smiling and look angry.

What I look like if you wake me after a nap.

What are some of the funny ways people find your blog through Google stats?
Despite the previous letter, this search term was actually the strangest one ever:


I have no response. 
Labels:

Comments

  1. GracieJune 25, 2011 at 8:51 AM

    Hahaha. Your hair looks cute...even in the outtakes, lol!

    ReplyDelete
  2. GracieJune 25, 2011 at 8:52 AM

    PS - I am thinking about running Chickamauga. Have you run it before?

    ReplyDelete
  3. NikJune 25, 2011 at 8:54 AM

    I had a similar experience when I wrote about "naked running" in reference to my Nike Frees. It's amazing how many people search for nude forms of exercise...

    ReplyDelete
  4. SaraJune 25, 2011 at 8:57 AM

    Haha! Those are so funny...

    I get "DQ ice cream blizzard" searches ALL THE TIME! I guess I eat a lot of ice cream??? Yikes.

    ReplyDelete
  5. XaarlinJune 25, 2011 at 9:23 AM

    Haha. I just got "half marathon is half of nothing" whatever that means. I love the google metrics. Really interesting and disturbing to see what led to your page.

    ReplyDelete
  6. ♥ Drazil ♥June 25, 2011 at 9:25 AM

    Good God - I just looked at mine the other day and was appalled. I'll do a post about it too - they're good for a laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jennifer SpadaforaJune 25, 2011 at 9:27 AM

    WOW!!! There are some crazies out there! Wierdest search on my blog: Sheryl Crow's Shoe Size. Um....not quite sure about that one!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Emily @ Sweating SugarJune 25, 2011 at 10:07 AM

    I love looking at the keyword searches that lead to my blog!!! Yours trump any I have had but "martian sandals" apparently leads people to Sweating Sugar....Not even sure what those are! And of course "lululemon camos" and lululemon upload" because clearly I reference those too often and need help.

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousJune 25, 2011 at 10:13 AM

    That is crazy! I wonder how many different words would link to my blog lol
    I'm sure there are a few unexpected ones!

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousJune 25, 2011 at 10:45 AM

    hahahahahahhaha that is the funniest thing everr

    ReplyDelete
  11. Christy @ My Dirt Road Anthem: A Runner's BlogJune 25, 2011 at 10:47 AM

    Wow, I don't have anything that good! The best I had was "co-worker in skirt"

    ReplyDelete
  12. UnknownJune 25, 2011 at 10:51 AM

    I love it. Some of the weirdest things people have searched for and come up on my blog?

    Prison Food.
    My hair looks electrocuted.

    and my all-time fav....

    NieNie blog annoying.

    (If you've ever read NieNie, you'll get it :-)

    ReplyDelete
  13. HDJune 25, 2011 at 10:56 AM

    Haha!!! Hilarious :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Running RicigJune 25, 2011 at 11:06 AM

    HAHAHAAHAHAHAH! I LOVE GOOGLE SEARCHES! This is awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousJune 25, 2011 at 11:18 AM

    ha!! I love it!! those are funny searches....but I kind of feel bad for the people that were searching things like peanut butter and porn... :/

    nice job with your lecture pose ;)

    ReplyDelete
  16. AlyssaJune 25, 2011 at 11:42 AM

    Everyone but me has amazing google searches!! I am so jealous! But seriously, porn is gross, and peanut butter is amazing, those people should be happy then ended up with a delicious rice pudding recipe instead.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Monika @ Monika's MilesJune 25, 2011 at 12:03 PM

    HAHAHA I absolutely LOVE this post!!! You're hilarious!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. LindseyJune 25, 2011 at 12:13 PM

    Google searches are the. Best. I'm with you - I would have already gotten in on that secret, bahaha!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Jerilee E.June 25, 2011 at 12:14 PM

    I'm just here for the jelly beans and running! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  20. RunFitMamaJune 25, 2011 at 2:06 PM

    Hahahaha, I love this post

    ReplyDelete
  21. CaitlinJune 25, 2011 at 2:11 PM

    omg, this is just priceless! way too funny! :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. JennÊ»s AdventureÊ»sJune 25, 2011 at 3:03 PM

    This post has me in hysterics! Seriously, how do you find this stuff out? I clicked on "stats" in my blogger account, but I see nothing of the sort aside from number of views and most popular posts...

    ReplyDelete
  23. LisaJune 25, 2011 at 3:05 PM

    such a funny post! Hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  24. HaleyJune 25, 2011 at 3:25 PM

    bahaha this cracks me up :D
    <3

    ReplyDelete
  25. Sable WeismanJune 25, 2011 at 3:47 PM

    hahahahaha!!! This is HILARIOUS!

    ReplyDelete
  26. JCJune 25, 2011 at 4:05 PM

    HAHA this is GREAT! i love when random stuff shows up in my search terms stats!

    ReplyDelete
  27. AlisaJune 25, 2011 at 6:00 PM

    Nothing random yet. But I can't wait until people come for random things. These google search posts make me laugh so hard!

    ReplyDelete
  28. JuliaJune 25, 2011 at 7:40 PM

    this is seriously hilarious!!!! omg. seriously. laughing so hard right now.

    ReplyDelete
  29. ShortSkirtsJune 25, 2011 at 8:26 PM

    haha that's too funny

    ReplyDelete
  30. Britt @ Chicago Runner GirlJune 25, 2011 at 8:40 PM

    Someone recently found my blog with the search terms of "topless running". Makes me feel like I'm really making a difference in the world.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Andi FitzJune 25, 2011 at 11:00 PM

    Ha ha. :) This post was funny. I wish I could say I've found something nearly as funny as those in my google searches.

    ReplyDelete
  32. UnknownJune 26, 2011 at 12:19 AM

    So cute!! Love your scolding look, so harsh!!

    ReplyDelete
  33. AkJune 26, 2011 at 8:43 AM

    lol too funny! :)

    ReplyDelete
  34. AnonymousJune 26, 2011 at 2:35 PM

    Best post ever.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Rachelle WardleJune 26, 2011 at 2:45 PM

    ha ha so funny!

    ReplyDelete
  36. AlisonJune 26, 2011 at 9:07 PM

    Love it! I love hearing about funny Google search terms, this one is definitely a winner!

    I haven't had too many funny searches yet, but I did chuckle at "it's a hard one". I don't think I have any hard (or soft) ones on my site ;)

    ReplyDelete
  37. Fruit FlyJuly 1, 2011 at 7:26 PM

    This is too funny!
    I'll have to go see what brings people to my blog now!

    ReplyDelete

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